We're really not ready to say goodbye to the people we love. We all know that life is a process but when it comes to going to a funeral we are assailed by a thousand questions, from how to offer condolences to doubting a dress that is consistent with feelings of sadness. And it is that clothing is one more component of our personality and we should never underestimate it.
If you are going to attend a religious funeral but it is not clear how you should dress, you should always make sure if there are pre-established dress rules, either by the religion of the deceased or by the protocol that prevails in the place where the burial will take place.
The most common color used for a funeral is black, although mourning is not required in most Western cultures. The social code states that if you do not have suitable garments of that color, you can also contemplate the dark ranges of grey, brown or the classic navy blue. Under no circumstances is it appropriate to wear very bright colors such as orange, red or strident patterns. Colors convey emotion, and the last thing someone who is grieving wants to see is happy hues.
Even if the clothes are black, this is not the time to wear party clothes (no glitter, sequins, plunging necklines or dresses that are too short). Sensuality does not enter here: a funeral is an act of pain, and even if the deceased is not someone close to us, we must empathize with the emotional suffering and loss that many of the attendees may be feeling. Empathy marks discretion, calm manners, and avoidance of attention.
Solemnity doesn't shake hands with flashy accessories either; high heels, large or informal bags, furs and hats, smoky eyes from the catwalk... it is better that simplicity stands out.
Appropriate suits for men are dark formals, such as navy blue or slate gray. Mourning imposes a black or dark tie, without polka dots or stripes, and a serious shirt, without squares or colors. Shoes and socks must be black as well.
It is inappropriate to pay respects to the deceased by wearing T-shirts, sneakers, shorts, and sun visors. Although it is summer, flip flops and sandals are not appropriate.
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Funeral of Doña Pilar de Borbón
It seems simple in theory but in practice it is not so simple and we have seen a good example of this this Friday at the homage mass paid to Doña Pilar de Borbón, sister of King Emeritus Juan Carlos.
In this funeral held for family and close friends, it has been possible to see the different ways of approaching clothing. The former daughter-in-law of the Duchess of Badajoz Laura Ponte attended with navy blue pants, a white sweater, brown shoes and a backpack. Clean face and hair tied up in a makeshift ponytail.
Andrea Pascual's attire was very different. The current wife of Beltrán Gómez-Acebo wore a complete black dress with court shoes and a patent leather bag, also black. She had sober makeup and perfectly polished hair.
Although the comparison is obvious, unfortunately the one who has captured all the attention has been the presenter Susanna Griso since she was kind enough to wear a transparent blouse with leather pants. And also dark underwear that was evidenced by the flashes of the photographers. Funerals are not fashion shows and it is always best not to draw attention to yourself for looking inappropriate.
Another example of inappropriate attire was seen during the funeral chapel that was installed in the glass patio of the Casa de la Villa when the socialist Pedro Zerolo died.
Leaders of different formations and numerous anonymous citizens paraded to pay tribute to one of the people who are part of the political history of our country. All correctly enlute, except the current president Pedro Sánchez, with a tie and fitted pants totally out of place. Elegance lies in knowing how to behave to live up to what is expected of us in each of the circumstances to which we turn. It is never good to become the talk of a funeral, let alone because of the clothes we wear.